


Million Dollar Who?

by OfficeShoeBoxedUp



Series: EpicSMP Drabbles [4]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Assassination Attempt(s), EpicSMP, Gods, Machines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28870536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfficeShoeBoxedUp/pseuds/OfficeShoeBoxedUp
Summary: Swagger just wanted to work on his machines in peace.Minx is a little bloodthirsty.
Relationships: ALL PLATONIC
Series: EpicSMP Drabbles [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113809
Kudos: 28





	Million Dollar Who?

**Author's Note:**

> Perspective change, wooo! 
> 
> Swagger's got too many hours logged on the SMP already, holy crap.

Swagger carefully adjusted the conveyor belt, flipping the switch on and off a few times, checking to make sure the belt flowed smoothly. Swearing loudly, he turned the machine off, and sat by the belt, tightening the belt against the pulley, then turned it back on. Watching the even flow of the belt, he sighed in relief, standing back up. 

“Oi! Swagger!” Looking up, he could barely make out Minx against the rough dirt surrounding his home. “Minx? What brings you out to my humble workshop?” “Humble my ass,” she spits on the ground, staring up at him. “Anyways, since I heard you were in the business and all, and since you decided to kill me last time, I brought you some victims!” 

Behind her came Wes and Ted, both in regular clothes, raising Swagger’s suspicions. Minx showing up in full armour, with the two of them? Definitely some kind of trouble. Wiping his hands on a grease stained rag, he tucks it into his inventory. “Oh, that’s great,” he lies, watching her carefully. She mounts the steps to his machine, sword loosely dangling from her hand. “Well, you know, all’s fair in love and war.”

Her eyes flash purple then, wind kicking up. “Except for when million dollar Minx gets murdered!” she screams, viciously slashing at him. Swagger blocks with his right gauntlet, dodging the next blow and punching her back. “It’s not my fault you’re gullible!” he responds, barely deflecting the wild slash. 

“A wise man once said million dollar Minx!” she screams at him again, leaping forward to deliver a heavy blow to him, knocking him from the platform. Hastily gathering his tools, he sprints past, heading towards one end of the large ravine he had made. Hearing grunts and enraged cries from behind, he risks a quick glance back to see Minx trapped in the belt, and he silently curses and blesses the sticky belt. 

Seeing her untangle herself and almost start speeding towards him, Swagger skirts the cobble wall, dislodging a few pebbles in his haste. Minx continues after him in heavy pursuit, screaming “million dollar Minx” the entire time, and he does have to give her credit for never getting tired despite full on sprinting and shouting. 

Hurriedly, he pulls out the collapsible cannon and preps it, not loading it but swivelling it towards her. “Back up, I’ll shoot you! This has enough to kill even the strongest of gods!” Minx stops, but continues shooting obscenities at him, giving him time to scramble away, heading back up the steps to his digger. Realising she was tricked, Minx tears after him again, screaming about how much she wanted him to die. 

Dancing around the poles and the belt, Swagger flicks a button, pushing the main bulk of the machine forward, Wes scrambling for balance on the sudden shift. Immediately, he hops the line and barely makes it onto the platform, quickly checking his own storage. There wasn’t a whole lot that would stop her within easy reach, and he didn’t think she’d give up until he was dead. 

“For Minx!” Wes shouts from behind him, and he is given barely a second to respond to his harsh shove, grabbing the other’s arms and forcing him to keep him upright lest they both fall into the cavernous depths. Minx lunges at him, sword grazing his left leg slightly, and he hisses, sliding off the platform and landing further away. Ted seems to be enjoying the chaos, merely watching the two of them duke it out (well, more like a rabid animal chasing down another). 

His workshop and home now seemed to hinder him, forcing him to slow down to properly take the sharp turns, effectively leap over the small river providing power to his machines. Minx continues to shout, Wes now encouraging her to overtake him. A quick glance to his left saved him: the ladder hanging from the top of the crusher. Desperately leaping for it, he scurries up the ladder, adjusting his tool belt once more. A slight pain in his foot makes him roll onto the roof, pulling out a spare ration of his bread and hurriedly scarfing it down. 

Sounds from below indicate that Minx is coming up just as fast, and he quickly rummages through his storage, trying to find something convenient. The last few blocks of birch wood come up, and he begins stacking them, careful to keep them from the edge where they would be spotted. As Minx gets closer to the top, he shoves them forward, blocking off any potential lip that she could get her fingers on. 

She falls off with an indignant screech, letting out her frustrations of not being able to kill him. Trying again causes the same result, an even louder screech emitting from her. Swagger winces, pulling out a set of earplugs and inserting them into his ears. 

Ted climbs up the ladder not 2 feet away, around the corner, slowly moving onto the roof, keeping his hands where they could easily be seen. “I want to watch this play out from up here,” he says carefully, and Swagger nods, tossing him a set of earbuds. “No idea what you just said,” he called loudly, “but you’re going to need these if she goes nuclear.” 

“Let me in!” Minx screams, plummeting to the ground for the third time, a high pitched buzzing filling the air. Climbing up the ladder again, she hits the ground a fourth time, constantly trying to break through the flimsy barrier placed, but still failing. “Million dollar Minx!” she begins chanting again, before hitting the ground a 5th time. “Cover your ears!” Swagger shouts to Wes, who hastily backs away. 

“UGH!” Minx screams, the sound audible across the map, pure waves of anger and sound just blasting through the workshop. When it finally died down, Swagger pulled out the earbuds, tucking them into his pocket, then calmly leaping from the top to the bottom, gathering the few things Minx had on her before dying. 

“You’re right, that was an easy fight,” he jokes to the wind, swearing he could hear Minx angrily grumble from spawn. Ted follows him, Wes close behind. “Hey, uh, no hard feelings, right Swagger? Sorry for trying to shove you in, it was a spur of the moment thing.” “Just don’t do it again.” 

“Did she seriously die from falling?” Ted asks, inspecting the ladder. It was beat up, rungs missing in some places, and Swagger sighed, realising he’d have to replace it. “Yeah, it’s funny. She didn’t know there was a ladder on the side. She would’ve been able to get up just fine.” Wes wheezes, just now realising it. “You’re telling me the goddess of vengeance and sound didn’t realise there was a second ladder with an easier path to justice?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” Swagger says, examining the armour. 

**Author's Note:**

> Going to do a lore dump someday, but until then, it's just all chaos!
> 
> If there's anyone you want to see, I can try to write it!


End file.
